What Happens to Pets When Love Falls Apart
He Keeps The House, She Keeps The Dog
At SuretyNow, many of us are pet lovers in relationships. Our lunch conversations often drift from pet insurance/tips to cool date spots in Austin. So we decided to put data behind our curiosity: we surveyed 1,000 Americans who live with a partner and co-own at least one pet to see how couples really handle pet ownership if they ever encountered difficulties in their relationships.
This isn’t a niche question. 71% of U.S. households, about 94 million homes, now have pets, with dogs in nearly half of homes and cats in about a third. Americans also spent a staggering $152 billion on pets in 2024, a number that only continues to climb. With pets so firmly woven into family life, what happens when relationships unravel becomes a pressing cultural question.
In short, we found that men and women disagree sharply on who pays, who fights, and who would stay in a relationship just for the pet, yet both sides agree on one thing: pets aren’t property, they’re family.
Money and Responsibility: Men Pay More, And Report More Conflict
Men are more likely to bear the financial burden of pet ownership, with 51.2% saying they pay most vet bills compared to 35.9% of women. Women, by contrast, lean toward shared responsibility, with nearly half (45.2%) saying expenses are split evenly. This highlights a clear divide: men see themselves as the primary providers, while women frame pet care as a joint commitment.
Men also perceive more conflict around pets. Nearly one in five (18.9%) report arguments happening weekly or more, almost double the rate of women (11.9%). Women, on the other hand, are more likely to describe disagreements as rare, surfacing only a few times a year.
Staying for the Pet: Men Decide, Women Hedge
Would people stay in a relationship longer than they wanted, just to keep access to a pet? Men are far more likely to give a firm answer. Nearly 38% said “yes, definitely,” compared to only 21.4% of women. But men were also more likely than women to say “no” outright (46.6% vs. 38.1%).
Women, on the other hand, lean toward the middle ground: 40.5% said “maybe,” almost triple the share of men (15.5%). The takeaway is clear — men are more likely to treat pets as dealbreakers one way or the other, while women leave the door open to compromise.
Custody Trade-Offs: Savings First, But Women Choose Pets More Often
When forced to choose, both men and women agreed that money matters most. In a contest between pets and savings, the majority prioritized their finances, though women were still more likely than men to side with the pet (38.1% vs. 31.1%).
But the trade-offs shift when homes and cars enter the picture. Nearly 60% of women said they’d fight for the pet over a car, compared to 44.8% of men. And when it came to choosing between a house and a pet, a majority of women (57.1%) still picked the pet, while two-thirds of men (67.3%) favored the house. Overall, both genders protect their savings, but women are consistently more willing to put pets above property.
Shared Values
Despite their differences elsewhere, men and women converge on one key point: pets shouldn’t be treated as property. A strong majority of both genders support custody-style laws that consider the best interest of the animal in court, with 70%+ showing some level of support and only small minorities opposed.
Should pets receive custody-style consideration (best interest of the animal) in divorce?
- Strongly support (31% male, 28.5% female)
- Somewhat support (39.6% male, 38.1% female)
- Neutral (22.4% male, 30.9% female)
- Somewhat oppose (3.4% male, 2.4% female)
- Strongly oppose (3.4% male, 0% female)
Would you sign a “pet-nup” (agreement on pet custody in case of breakup)?
- Yes (50.1% male, 57.1% female)
- No (37.8% male, 19% female)
- Not sure (12.1% male, 23.8% female)
If your landlord or building banned pets, what would you do?
- Keep the pet and find a different place, even if more expensive (68.9% male, 80.9% female)
- Move in and hide the pet (18.9% male, 11.9% female)
- Rehome the pet (5.2% male, 4.7% female)
- Not sure (6.9% male, 2.4% female)
Methodology
All results in this report come from an online survey commissioned by SuretyNow. The survey was conducted last week with a nationally distributed sample of 1,000 Americans aged 18 and older.
To qualify, respondents had to indicate that they currently live with a romantic partner (married or cohabiting) and that they co-own at least one pet with their partner. Of the 1,000 qualified respondents, 580 identified as male and 420 as female.
The survey was distributed online and respondents were randomly selected from a large consumer panel. Screening questions ensured only eligible participants continued. All respondents were asked to answer truthfully and to the best of their ability.
With a sample size of 1,000, the survey carries a margin of error of approximately ±3% at a 95% confidence level. When presenting the data, we rounded to the closest single decimal point for percentages.
